You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
