umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
