I wannas sexs uuuuu
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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