So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
