He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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