If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
