Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
