this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
