so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
