we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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