Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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