i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
