my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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