I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
