I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That's when you crack a 10am beer
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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