I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
