so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
