Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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