Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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