My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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