Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
