Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize