CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
