this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
