I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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