Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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