Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
