My hand turned me down
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
