It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
