who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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