My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
