you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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