areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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