I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
