I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
