I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
