Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
