You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
