He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize