Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
