that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize