i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
