I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
