I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
