Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize