and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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