the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
