It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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