I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
