It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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