barbara walters just said penis...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
