I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
