he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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