I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I touched a dick in church today
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
