Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
then he tried to convert me to islam
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
