If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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