this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
