brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
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i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
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New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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