Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize