Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
