he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Barsexuality is the new black.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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