Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
