i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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