this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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