I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
