So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
