My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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