At least make sure they are 18
Why
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
