all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize