so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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