PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
