Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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