Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
